Have you heard the rumour that Quentin Tarantino is going to follow up his WWII flick ‘Inglourious Basterds’ with a sequel called ‘Inglouriously Lazy Basterds’ and that he’s going to set it in Tenerife?

Apparently the film will follow the misfortunes of 12 holidaymakers who choose Los Cristianos as their holiday destination.

Over the space of two weeks they come up with ingenious ways of being able to move from beach to bar and vice versa without having to use their legs, or any muscles at all for that matter.

WARNING: SPOILER ALERT – By the end of their fortnight they’ve ceased to resemble humans to such an extent that they look more like featureless blimps and have to hire local lads to roll them to their favourite bar where, at the end of a twelve hour binge of eating and drinking, they spectacularly explode in Monty Python ‘Meaning of Life’ fashion, levelling Los Cristianos to the ground – it’s a morality tale.

Sounds far fetched? I think not.

Last week in Los Cristianos I was walking through the underpass which links the town with Playa de las Vistas when I heard the soft whirring of one of those motorized mobility scooters behind me. I moved out of the way to let the scooter past, noticing it was a relatively young guy of about forty driving it. Seconds later another scooter passed me, this time with a woman of about the same age with a girl aged about five or six on her lap – it was a family outing.

They whirred into the car park and proceeded to do laps of the area as though they were messing around on the dodgems. At one point the man turned so quickly that the scooter teetered on two wheels – he was having great fun. None of the family had so much as a limp; they were simply using the scooters as a sort of fun way of getting about the resort.

In the space of a couple of hours I saw two families using mobility scooters this way, so clearly not an isolated incident.

I know sometimes I can pull on the dog collar and turn into Preacher Jack, but there’s something seriously distasteful about this… isn’t there?

I’ve always thought that the Arona council has shown themselves to be incredibly forward thinking in trying to create a barrier free paradise. The availability of mobility scooters is one way of making it easier for people with genuine mobility problems to enjoy the town as much as anybody else; idiots using them as playthings, or as a way to avoid actually walking anywhere reaches serious depths of crassness.

The irony is that if anyone is so lazy that they use a mobility scooter to get around when they don’t need to, the chances are that they might actually end up with mobility problems for real.

A case of be careful what you wish for.

When did people turn into such inglouriously lazy basterds?

  1. Matilda1000 says:

    Totally agree. Think I heard of able-bodied athletes competing in wheelchair events. IMO very bad taste.

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