The Most Ridiculous Excuse Ever…

Posted: January 19, 2009 in Life, Spain, Tenerife
Tags: , , , , ,

When it comes to a philosophical outlook, I find my thoughts more in accordance with the Reverend D. Wayne Love than Carlos Castaneda.

My neighbour, Jesús is more the other way around, although I’m not sure if he knows who Carlos Castaneda is.

If he’s not feeling 100%, it’s never because he’s picked up a bug, or eaten something which didn’t agree with him or anything like that. With him any illness is usually to do with his energy lines being wonky, or the planets being misaligned or some such tree hugging twaddle.

Usually when he comes out with this, we nod for a few moments then say something like:

“So, it was nothing to do with you letting the dog lick your face moments after it had just eaten that cat shit then?”

A statement which on occasion is not a million miles away from the truth.

He’s had a bit of a lively few days has our Jesús. His hours have been all over the place (late nights leading to late rising, leading to later nights and so on) and I don’t think he’s been eating much. So what happened when he popped up for a visit on Tuesday morning wasn’t too much of a surprise.

The sun was out and Andy was sitting in the garden writing. I was concentrating on creating a map on Adobe Illustrator for the first of our new walking guides for Tenerife when Jesús sauntered through the front door saying he wanted to ‘chill’ for a bit, so I didn’t pay Jesús much attention. It didn’t take him long to get the message and he wandered out to join Andy in the garden.

Within a few moments he was back, holding his mouth. Before I could ask him what was up, he was puking up in our toilet, where he spent the best part of the next half hour before emerging looking waxy and with beads of sweat on his forehead.

So what was the problem with our amigo, Jesús?

Dodgy chorizo? Too much booze the night before? Stomach bug? The culmination of burning the candle at both ends?

Not on your Nelly. No, that would be too simple.

Jesús’ answer to the question “What do you think caused it?” was classic.

It was this:

“I think the sun got into my chakra…”

I think the sun got into my chakra!!! I ask you?

Far too much damn consciousness expansion going on there if you ask me.


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