The Things You See When You Don’t Have a Gun

Posted: June 17, 2008 in Life, Nature, Photos, Spain, Tenerife, Travel
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

In the last post I mentioned that the Anaga Mountains don’t receive as many visitors as they should, but that’s in relative terms. The more intrepid travellers make their way there as do some coach excursions, but the coaches are restricted to the wider roads which they can navigate, which means some of the most stunning spots are missed.

I’m not a fan of coach excursions; I hate the herd of animal aspect to them and the whistle-stop approach that many adopt. It’s like having a plate of garlic chicken placed under your nose and being told you can smell it, but you can’t actually eat it.

On Tripadvisor this week, someone was advising a first time visitor to the island of places where to go. It was good advice and included Masca, Garachico, Mount Teide and the Anagas, but there was one little comment that irked me. It was simply a reference to  Almaciga (a small coastal village) as “the most remote village on Tenerife”. Almaciga is a nice little village for sure, but the most remote on Tenerife – give me a break. It’s where many of the coaches that visit the Anagas stop for lunch; hardly remote. There are many far more remote places, but the coaches can’t get to them so they don’t exist. I’m sure the woman who was giving the advice gave it in good faith, but I’m equally sure that it was a piece of ‘misinformation’ fed to her by a tour guide and that’s another reason I’m not a fan of excursions.

This view from the Anagas was much easier on the eyes than some others

Anyway, after our walk to Taganana we stopped at a little mirador (viewpoint) where there are wonderful views of both the east coast and the north. It’s an incredible spot; on one side of the road, the landscape is barren and dry; on the other it’s lush and velvety green. However, there was one view which was as unexpected as it was unwelcome. There was a minibus parked beside the mirador and outside it was a British woman in her early fifties with short blond hair and even shorter shorts. Whilst everyone else was enjoying the scenery, she was enjoying a cigarette. Nothing wrong with that, I can remember the need for a nicotine hit from the days when I used smoke, but when she turned her back to us she revealed that she was committing a crime against fashion and common decency that should have resulted in her being summarily executed on the spot. Her cut off shorts weren’t actually long enough to cover her buttocks. Daisy Duke she certainly wasn’t (dated cultural reference), but if that wasn’t bad enough, she was wearing a pair of big, black knickers which protruded a couple of inches below the hem of her shorts.
“OH MY GOD,” Andy gasped, absolutely horrified. “Doesn’t she have any friends?”

Clearly not, or they would never have let her leave her apartment. So here’s a tip, before you go out anywhere, always get someone to check how you look from the back; you just never know.

  1. Pamela says:

    Are you sure it’s not some new fashion to wear tight fitting shorts under other shorts? I think it is. It looks bloody awful, but I think it’s meant to be. 🙂

  2. dragojac says:

    Hi Pamela,

    Welcome back to cyberspace! I’ve seen the shorts under shorts fashion, believe me this was no fashion statement. This was a heinous crime against good taste and they were definitely a pair of city slickers…not shorts.

    Just talking about it brings back the horror, the horror!

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