It’s Only a Matter of Time Before a Monkey Learns How to Make a Fire

Posted: November 10, 2007 in animals, Food, Life, Writing
Tags: , , , , , , ,

This revelation was prompted by a steaming bowl of Moroccan potato stew.

Thought 1:
‘Those potatoes look seriously hot. I bet if I bite into one, it’ll scald the roof of my mouth.’

Thought 2:
‘S’funny, mouths don’t seem to be designed for hot food, they’re far too sensitive.’

Thought 3:
‘I can’t think of any other animal apart from humans which actually eat hot food. It goes against the laws of nature. We’d still be eating our food raw and cold if we’d never discovered how to make fire.’

Well it does get a bit parky up in the forest of an eveningThought 4:
‘Man couldn’t have been much more than an ape when he accidentally rubbed a couple of sticks together, they burst into flame and, hey presto, barbecued mammoth was suddenly ‘dish of the day’.’

Thought 5:
‘If man was little more than an ape when he figured fire out, what’s to stop some gorilla sitting in the Ugandan rain forest experimenting with his opposable thumbs and a couple of twigs?’

Thought 6:
‘Bloody hell, it’s only a matter of time before a monkey learns how to make a fire!’

And for all we know it might have already happened; there are a lot of unexplained forest fires in the world.

  1. Pamela says:

    No, I think you’re wrong. These days aren’t apes too busy banging away on typewriters trying to come up with the Complete Works of Shakespeare? 🙂

    On the other hand, maybe they found out how to make fire ages ago, then realized it was silly, because I don’t think the Nethanderal beings who start forest fires are as developed as monkeys.

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