What’s the Weather Like in Tenerife? Finding the Answer makes the CIA seem like Choirboys

If anyone was to compile a list of the most popular question asked about Tenerife, I’m willing to bet that ‘What’s the weather like?’ would be head and shoulders above every other question.

What people don’t realise is that by asking that question they could be entering a murky world of intrigue, subterfuge, double bluff, misdirection and deception where it’s difficult to know who you can trust?

If you really want to know the truth about Tenerife’s weather, tighten the trench coat, light a Lucky Strike and allow me to introduce you to the players.

Tenerife Weather from Travel Agents
Firstly it’s easy to weasel out who you can’t trust – and that’s anyone selling you a location. The simple rule is anywhere they have accommodation, the weather will be fab. Anywhere they don’t will no doubt be cold and wet.
Always, always seek a second opinion.

Tenerife Weather from Official Forecasts
You can trust official forecasts…yes? Absolutely Not. Any report that gives one forecast for Tenerife should be completely ignored. The island is made up of a series of micro climates and weather patterns in different parts of the island vary considerably, as does the climate between the coast and the hills.
I know a hamlet where it can be raining on one side of the village and bone dry on the other – and it’s not a big place.

Therefore, weather forecasts from somewhere like the BBC for example have limited, or no value. The most reliable forecasts are ones like AEMet (the Spanish Met Office) which break down their predictions into separate municipalities on Tenerife. But even then, many readings are taken at a few hundred metres rather than the coast, so in winter forecasted temps will be lower than the coast and in summer might be higher.
But as we’ve discovered with our weather check on Walking Tenerife, even AEMet aren’t infallible.

Tenerife Weather from Webcam Images
The camera can’t lie? Damn right it can. You’d think that a quick check of the webcam for the area would show you exactly what the weather is like, but it ain’t necessarily so.

First of all there’s the spin. The webcam picture which always shows unbroken sunshine. I’ve clocked a couple of webcams on Tenerife that do this. With these you have to actually click on the image to see a live stream – dastardly, eh?
On the other hand, there are a couple of webcams that unfortunately broke on a cloudy day. At the moment Los Gigantes and El Socorro look as though they’ve been under perpetual cloud for weeks. The people in these places don’t know how to play the weather game.

The other thing about webcams is their position. Point a webcam out to sea on Tenerife and more often than not, you’re going to see blue skies – doesn’t matter whether you’re in the south or the north. The reality is that the image on screen is not always a true picture of what the weather’s actually like.

Not having your webcam in a ‘smart’ position can work against a place. Look at this webcam looking towards Puerto de la Cruz…

…and a photograph taken in Puerto at the same time.

Weather Reports from Someone Who is on Tenerife
So that leaves on the spot reports of the weather from someone who’s actually there. That has to be accurate and trustworthy doesn’t it?

Firstly, like official weather forecasts, you can immediately dismiss anyone who says ‘I’m on Tenerife and the weather is…’ and then simply gives one umbrella report.
But then, putting the people who think that Tenerife is only the two streets around where they live aside, we enter a really confusing world.

A few weeks ago on different forum sites there were varying views from different people in and around Las Américas about the same week . Two people commented on the fact that it rained; one questioned what was up with the weather as it was cloudy then sunny and the last remarked that it had been a lovely week.
I’ve read forums where people in the same town have argued over each other’s take on the weather.
I’ve seen people report on disappointing weather in the north during their holiday in a week where the sun shone most of the time.

I’ve sat beside someone who was telling a friend on the phone that the weather was glorious when actually I thought it was quite overcast.

What it seems to boil down to is this: one person’s sunny with a bit of cloud is another person’s cloudy with a bit of sun.

To be fair, the weather here can change in no time. So depending on where someone was and what they were doing at certain times of the day, it is feasible that two people in the same place can experience different weather. But that doesn’t account for all the variations.

All of this would make it terribly confusing for anyone trying to find out what the weather is like on Tenerife and who they can trust…except for one important factor.

The default setting for weather on Tenerife – all coastal areas of Tenerife – is warm and sunny changing to hot, hot, hot and sunny in the summer months.

Clearly there can be variations and sometimes cloud and rain, but Tenerife has been known for its year round good weather for centuries and that hasn’t changed one iota.

You can trust me on this…then again, can you?

Stepping Back into Tenerife’s Past: Tenerife Beaches and Resorts in 1969

I’ve just been thumbing through a little hard-backed tourist guidebook for Tenerife written back in 1969 when mass tourism was not so much in its infancy as barely having left the womb.

It’s a fascinating little book – unfortunately it’s in German and although I did study German for a while, I can only remember a smattering of words like der spinne and schizenhousen (actually it was my dad who taught me that one). Funnily enough I can remember more phrases from those little Commando books than I can from school lessons so if ever I need a ‘Gott im Himmel’ or ‘Achtung Englander’, I’m well prepared.

Anyway, the point is lots of the little gems within are lost to me, but names of places are in Spanish and there’s a little information section at the end which is in Spanish and English as well.

The photos are a real eye-opener to the way Tenerife has changed over the last 40 years…or not.

Tenerife's classiest town - looking almost exactly how it looked 40 years ago

There are some places – parts of the north west coast, La Orotava, Teide National Park – where the photos are exactly the same as ones I’ve taken in the last couple of years. However there are others where the differences are staggering. The La Orotava Valley for one, where much of the banana plantations in the lower valley have been engulfed by concrete – but Puerto de la Cruz had been an established port and was used to receiving visitors for centuries, so there was always a decent sized town on the coast.

The real contrast is on the south coast where there are as many small fishing boats on Los Cristianos beach as sunbathers and a handful of buildings at the back of the beach. El Médano is the same; Los Gigantes is almost non-existent and Las Américas not even a twinkle in developer’s eyes. Costa Adeje is a place that is way off in the future.

It was a very different Tenerife back then – just listen to this description of Bajamar.

‘…Bajamar which, after Puerto de la Cruz, can be considered the best equipped coastal resort for tourists.’

Now compare with the description of Los Cristianos.

‘This coastal village should become a resort of more extensive proportions because of its excellent climate…’

An almost identical photo to one in the 40 year-old book

Somebody clearly took that advice on board…and then some.

Interestingly Güímar is described as ‘the most important town in the southern part of the island.’ Which of course it always was and why the road south stopped there for centuries until the tiny southern hamlets were connected to civilisation by tarmac in the 1940s

Then there are the beaches on Tenerife, some of which don’t exactly match their current incarnations.

Playa Las Teresitas  – ‘It is 1450 metres long and the sand is dark in colour.’

Playa Los Cristianos – ‘The sand is light coloured. The road goes as far as the beach.’ The road goes as far as the beach; isn’t that great?

Playa Puerto Santiago - ‘…a length of 63 metres and dark sand; the road goes as far as the village, and then there is a path to the beach.’ Actually, thinking about the access to Playa Puerto Santiago today, it’s not that much different.

Finally the area of Las Américas/Costa Adeje gets a mention at last, except it’s not called Las  Américas.
Even then the beach was known as Playa de la Troya but getting to it was a bit different than nowadays – ’300 metres long with rocks; there is a road to the cliff-top and a path down to the beach.’

Fantastic isn’t it?

Who’d Like the Chance to Win a Free Holiday in Tenerife?

Los Gigantes Marina as the Sun starts to Set

Hit a button and you may be on your way to a sun-drenched holiday.  It really is as simple at that.

Over at Tenerife Magazine, WimPen leisure have very generously offered a week’s accommodation at their lovely El Marques resort in Los Gigantes as this month’s great prize.

All you have to do to enter the draw which takes place on the 2nd of April 2010 is to become a fan of Tenerife Magazine on Facebook.

So let’s just weigh this up for a moment before you go ahead and do something rash.

You can either become a fan of Tenerife Magazine and:

• Get to read original, interesting and up to the minute articles about Tenerife.
• Be automatically entered into a draw which might just end up with you prone on a sun-bed sipping a cocktail in the sunniest spot on Tenerife in the El Marques resort underneath the gaze of the stunning Los Gigantes cliffs as the sun sets behind La Gomera on the horizon.
• And then be automatically entered for other great prizes.

Or you could do nothing…and have none of the above.

It’s a simple choice really.

Is Tenerife Dumbing Down…or Smartening Up?

The other night we were watching an episode of The West Wing where Jed Bartlet met up with his opposite number in the Republican Party, Governor Robert Ritchie.
Ritchie told Jed Bartlet he didn’t like him because he was a ‘superior sumbitch’ a reference to Bartlet being an elitist snob whereas Ritchie was an ordinary ‘good ol’ boy’. The fact that one had just been to a classical rendition of ‘Wars of the Roses’ and the other had been to an American football game seemed to highlight the gulf between the two. It was a discourse which made me think of Tenerife.

From a potential British holidaymaker’s point of view (and that’s an important distinction – for some British visitors, tourism on Tenerife means only them; every other nationality is invisible) Tenerife has long held an image of attracting ‘good ol’ boys’. People who like doing things like spending their time between lying on a beach, or beside their resort pool and chewing the fat in the local, usually British, bars. A statement I hear often is a variation of this:
“I’ve worked hard and I’ve come on holiday to relax, not to wander around old churches or immerse myself in local culture.”

You could call this immersing yourself in the local culture...not quite as dull as some would have you believe

I suspect these people consider themselves as ordinary folks. Sometimes I feel there’s an inference that people who actually enjoy doing other things than lying on a beach and knocking back the pints in a bar haven’t actually worked hard otherwise why would they want to ‘waste’ their time doing boring things like visiting museums/old towns/fiestas/going walking. Many have a Governor Ritchie attitude and their approach to being on holiday is that of ‘good ol’ boys’ doing what ‘ordinary’ people do and anyone who thinks different is a ‘superior sumbitch’ to be treated with suspicion.

What really gets my goat though is the idea that people who find it relaxing and mentally stimulating to stroll around a lovely old town or to join in with local fiestas don’t also  enjoy beach time or sinking a few jars in an inviting tasca.

I read a hilarious blog recently from a couple of gay Australians who spent their holiday drinking too much at night and singing bad karaoke (I Will Survive of course), lounging about on the island’s beaches as well as hiring a car and having adventures around the island; visiting Mount Teide, Puerto de la Cruz, Los Gigantes, Masca and Santa Cruz in the process.

These were exactly my sort of people. They knew how to have fun, but they were also really interested in discovering Tenerife and they loved what they found. When I read blogs from visitors of this ilk after ploughing through reams from people only interested in where they can get a pint for a euro, it reminds me that there are thousands of visitors to Tenerife who don’t fit the ‘beer and burger’ profile and that their numbers seem to be increasing each year. These are the people that Real Tenerife Island Drives and Going native in Tenerife are aimed at.

In ‘The West Wing’, when Ritchie claimed that he was one of the ordinary people because he was the one who’d gone to the football match rather than a classical concert, Jed Bartlet responded by pointing out that one of the football players Ritchie was watching had a degree and another played a classical instrument.

I don’t know what being ‘ordinary’ means, but I do know it doesn’t have to mean being dull and disinterested.

Tenerife’s had more than its fair share of Governor Ritchies for a long time; it’s good to see some more Jed Bartlets on the scene.

Christmas on Tenerife – Christmas lunch

Albóndigas before they were pounced on

The week before Christmas we drove across to the south west of Tenerife to wish Merry Christmas to a few friends, including Shani and Heiko of the Katrin whale and dolphin watching boat in Los Gigantes. Whilst we were there we stopped off in Playa de San Juan to have lunch in a new attractive looking contemporary tapas bar, El Aljibe, on the seafront. It’s interesting to see how much San Juan has changed in the five years since we moved here. Then, British voices were relatively rare, but now nearly everyone we passed along the promenade were British. However, they seemed to be the sort of visitors who were enjoying what is still very much a Canarian town and El Aljibe’s tables were filled with people tucking into tapas and carafes of wine. It always pleases me to see people who are actually interested in the island, its culture and its food.
As for the restaurant itself, the quality of the food matched the attractiveness of the décor. Fried camembert melted in the mouth, the albóndigas (spicy meatballs) were clearly home made and had the tiniest hint of piquancy, but it was the incredibly tender and more-ish chopitos (tiny fried squid) which stole the show.
We might have had more exuberant Christmas lunches in the past, but sitting in San Juan with the sun on our faces, it was hard to remember one which was quite so pleasurably relaxing.

Smokin’

Anyone who tells you they’ve done/seen it all probably stopped learning about the world they live in years ago. There’s always something new to discover…something that may change long held perceptions and cause you to view your world in a different light.
All of which is just a long winded and roundabout way of admitting that, for the last four years, I’ve completely been wrong about Tenerife cheese, which I’ve always considered bland and tasteless.

In my defence I blame a restaurant in Los Gigantes for this. It was British owned, but was one of the few places that actually served any Spanish cuisine and they had tapas on the menu, so Andy and I sat at  table and asked if we could order some racions, prompting the waiter to announce, bizarrely:
“Ah, you’re the people who won the radio competition.”
This clearly confused the hell out of us.
“Errr, no…not that I’m aware of,” Andy replied.
 “It’s just that you’ve ordered tapas and we’ve been expecting a couple who won a tapas meal in a radio competition.”
Now he was confused.

We had to insist a couple of times that we definitely weren’t that couple before he believed us and took our order. Looking back, it seems quite dim. He was trying to give us a free meal and we talked him out of it.

What I found strange about the whole exchange was that the restaurant was pretty full. Surely it couldn’t have been that unusual for someone to order tapas. I mean to say, ordering Spanish food in a Spanish province…how radical is that? I looked around at what the other clientele were eating. Burgers and chips, toasties and chips with an extra serving of chips, baguettes with ham and cheese…hmmm.

The food was fine, but the only tapas dish I remember from that day was the local goat’s cheese. It was Mr Bland of 62 Bland Avenue, Blandsville. It was the Orlando Bloom of cheeses and since then I’ve avoided Tinerfeño cheeses like the proverbial plague. Even in my local supermarket when an assistant stuck a platter of cheese under my nose and asked me if I wanted to try some. I dismissed her with a snooty ‘I prefer to eat cheese with stronger flavours’.
It was insensitive and a mistake on so many levels. I’d rejected her and dissed her homeland’s cheeses. She was understandably miffed and has never forgotten it. Since then whilst other customers are offered free brandies, albóndigas, cakes, choccy donuts etc, I get diddly squat, but I know the shape of her back pretty well. All thanks to that place in Los Gigantes.

Recently, I was carrying out research for a short article about Tenerife’s cheeses and figured if I was going to write about it, I’d better remind myself what it tasted like. I bought a wheel of smoked goat’s cheese from Arico and, expecting another trip into Blandtown, hoped that my poetic licence was up to date.

What a dolt. For four years I’ve been denying myself some of the best goat’s cheese that I’ve ever tasted. It was smooth and smoky with a flavour that was fresh, yet full of subtle flavours. Its aroma transported me to a small clearing in a tropical forest where there was a wood-smoke fire liberally sprinkled with herbs.
I’ve seen the wheel off in less than a week. I’ve put it in salads, drizzled honey over it, wrapped it in Serrano ham and simply just nibbled on it like a mouse who’s just discovered nirvana.  All accompanied with a sigh and a: “Wow; that is good…this is great cheese.”

It’s probably just as well that this revelation has eluded me for the last four years, my cholesterol levels would probably be through the roof by now (even if goat’s cheese has less cholesterol than cow’s). And I’ve learned a valuable lesson. One bad experience doesn’t make something fact.