Oi love, where did you pack my brain?

Why is it that some people think that when they go on holiday they’re visiting a place which has been built just for them; a place where none of the usual rules they adhere to at home apply? (Okay in PDLA and Costa Adeje that’s a fair assumption as both were built just for holidaymakers)

I saw a little incident the other day which left me speechless.

I’d parked my car in Puerto Colón and although I was sure it was legally parked, I had one eye on a motorcycle cop who was booking cars that were double parked, or had parked on yellow lines. As he wandered along the row of cars a family of Brits passed his motorbike which he’d left beside the marina. They stopped and looked at it for a second and then in full view of the traffic cop the father, a man in his late 30s,  sat astride the police bike as his wife got out the camera.

Now I don’t know what town in Britain this guy came from, but clearly the police there are incredibly tolerant if he’s used to the police letting members of the public mess about with their transport. I think not.

I know we relax our attitudes when we go on holiday, but it’s not really an excuse for behaving like a complete dolt. I’ve seen a woman sitting in just her bra in the pub…like you’d do that down the George & Dragon on a Saturday night (well maybe in Doncaster).

The daughter of a friend of mine and her pal wore their bikini tops to the local out of town shopping centre and then were really embarrassed because everyone was staring at them. And yet the very thought of walking about the Trafford Centre in bikini tops would have been the stuff of nightmares for them.
People continually step off the pavement in front of my car without looking and then seem annoyed that I’ve got the audacity to actually have a car on the road. At home they wouldn’t dream of stepping on to somewhere like the A6 in Stockport without a carefully thought out plan about how to get to the other side in one piece first.

I know it’s just holiday head and most times it’s harmless; on the other hand I have actually seen someone here killed instantly for the crime of forgetting to look when they stepped out onto the road…and as for a grown man getting on a police bike in a foreign country…what a plonker.

He was lucky it wasn’t a Guardia Civil bike

So do you or don’t you serve curried speckled tree frogs?

Yesterday I was in Playa de las Américas when I noticed this menu board.

Thank god for that - I was well and truly bored with sauted lizard spleen!

Now , I know exactly what sort of food we have here in Puerto de la Cruz, but I’ve always assumed that the sort of food dished up in many hostelries in PDLA would, if anything, be on the conservative side. This aint some rash assumption, it’s based on the experience of reading comments on travel advice sites like this one from a couple of days ago from an English lady who was looking for a suitable restaurant for her husband:

“He will not eat garlic or any type of spices, can anyone recommend any good quality PLAIN EATING ESTABLISHMENTS serving any type of meat or poultry which has just been grilled…”

What really tickled me was that she then went on to say:

“Please do not suggest Macdonalds we like the more refined restaurants…”

Oh, really? Sounds like it.

Anyway, this menu has had me doubting my original assumptions. Clearly if this establishment feels the need to advertise that they serve ‘normal’ food, everybody else must be dishing up much more exotic concoctions than I’d realized; maybe along the lines of those mentioned in my friend, Pamela’s ‘you are what you eat’ blog.

Oh, and if anyone knows what ‘normal’ food actually is, could you please send your answers on a postcard to…