Pinolere Craft Fare in Tenerife, Isn’t it Lovely and How Good’s Your Lovemaking?

It was so quick that it was almost imperceptible, but I saw it; I saw the woman’s eyes flick to my groin and back to my face in a fraction of a millisecond…and it wasn’t a complimentary glance either. I knew exactly what had gone through her mind.

Pinchos, corn on the cob, hard boiled eggs, beer & wine - not an extensive menu, but a great place to hang out.

The sun at the Pinolere Craft Fair was beating down with September ferocity. People are talking about the end of summer, but if summer was based on hot, hot, hot temperatures as opposed to just hot ones, we’d have another two months left here on Tenerife. Andy and I had just completed our first circuit of the stalls at the fair and had conveniently ended up at the huge beer and food kiosk that keeps everyone fuelled and happy. Despite applying sun cream and sun block my nose was starting to resemble a clown’s so we squeezed into the shade, ordered a beer and some pinchos and started waxing lyrical about how beautiful it was, what great stalls there were and what a fab atmosphere Pinolere had.

...And the pinchos (seasoned meat kebabs) were damn good.

“It’s lovely,” a woman standing beside us announced when she heard us speaking English.

She wasn’t English, she was from La Orotava, but clearly wanted to practice her grasp of English which pretty much amounted to answering ‘it’s lovely’ to everything. After a few moments we switched to Spanish and she told us all about herself and her son, what he did and what his girlfriend did, including how much they earned. Then she mentioned that she only had the one child. When I asked if that wasn’t unusual here she laughed and replied “one is more than enough.”

At that Andy told her we didn’t have any and that was when her eyes flicked to my groin and back. I knew her first thought was ‘he must be firing blanks’ or whatever the Spanish equivalent is.

A few years ago we were on a boat trip in Kenya that stopped at a small village where people still lived in thatched huts. We were met by the village chief who for some reason took to me and stuck to my side as we walked around. He told me all about the village, showed me leaves from a tree that tasted like opal fruits and told me all about himself and his family; naming all of his numerous children before asking me how many children I had. When I told him none he was shocked and I saw myself shrinking in his eyes. After that he deserted me and went to find a real man.

The Spanish woman recovered quickly.

“Ha, even better,” she laughed but the seed was planted so to speak.

At that point I’d being doing much of the talking, but as Andy took over and spoke to her about the fair and the weather she looked back at me.

“She speaks better Spanish than you,” she remarked.

“I know, she does everything better than me,” I replied.

“Really,” her eyes widened and she added. “Even in matters of love?”

I knew the no-kids comment had lodged in her brain. I was clearly almost a eunuch in her eyes…and how had we gone from ‘it’s a lovely fair’ to what I was like in bed anyway?

I made some suitably macho retort and then, grabbing Andy by the arm, spotted something we just had to buy at that moment at a stall on the other side of the fair. We ‘venga’d each other and left her to get back to exploring the fair.

The shopping centre - rural Tenerife style

We had a wonderful day at the Pinolere fair. Our haul of goodies amounted to a round of Benijos Cheese, a jar of honey, two pendants with Guanche designs, two bamboo whistles that made bird calls (for nephews), a book marker made from a banana trunk and a fan in a cotton case with a Guanche symbol on it. And all it cost was a handful of euros and a slur on my masculinity.

Oh, and as for the whole no kids deal just in case you’re wondering…lifestyle choice.

Bathing the Goats in Puerto de la Cruz, Tenerife: Harmless Tradition, Silly & Pointless or Act of Cruelty?

We all have different views, likes and opinions. Life would be very boring otherwise. However, sometimes I struggle to understand what makes people tick.

Take el baño de las cabras in Puerto de la Cruz this week. This midsummer tradition dates back to the times of the original inhabitants and involves giving the livestock a dunk in the magical midsummer waters to ensure fertility and good health – something that the humans do the previous night. It fascinates me and I love witnessing it, but not everyone feels the same.

Not Interested
When I first heard of the ‘bathing of the goats’ it went straight on to my list of things on Tenerife that I had to experience. But a couple of people have commented to me recently that they wouldn’t get up early to watch a load of goats. I can relate to that view up to a point. After a night celebrating San Jan at a beach party, it isn’t easy to drag yourself out of bed and the crowd that gathers at the harbour in Puerto de la Cruz tends to be quite mature, the younger people having partied till dawn. Still pushing out the Zs no doubt.

But you ain’t going to find a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow if you don’t make the effort to look for it. Many times, on the basis of an intriguing sentence on a Spanish web page or something similar, we’ve headed off to events with no idea of what to expect. Nine times out of ten we are rewarded with something special. Like this week at La Caleta de Interian when they lit up the beach with small torches.

It’s Cruel
Then there are the people who don’t like it because they think that it’s cruel to the animals. Our footage of the bathing of the goats probably doesn’t help. These goats bitch when they’re dragged and carried to the sea. Boy do they bitch. Anyone who heard them would think that they were having their throats slit instead of being dunked in the water. But that’s animals for you. They don’t want to go in the water and they let anyone who cares to listen know this…loudly.

But thinking it’s cruel is a misinformed view. I’d make a guess and say probably from people who don’t have any knowledge of what farming involves. Farmers can be firm handed with their livestock, but to think for a second that they’d deliberately hurt, or damage them is way off base. The goats are their livelihood and healthy, happy animals are vital to them. Sometimes we Brits can have too soppy a view of how we treat animals – Andy will tell you I’m the biggest culprit, the cat runs rings around me. But I did spend my summers on a farm when I was growing up and know the difference between being cruel and handling animals firmly.

And Finally ‘It’s a Silly and Pointless Tradition’
This was a comment on a forum and it wound me up no end. What a ridiculous thing to say. Presumably the person who said this doesn’t give Easter eggs, presents at Christmas, light fireworks on Bonfire Night, dress up for Halloween, or possibly even go to church on a Sunday. All might be viewed as silly and pointless traditions.

Let’s look at it another way. Are farmer’s in Britain who dip their sheep every year to rid their animals of parasites and pests indulging in a silly and pointless tradition? Because that is what it’s really all about. The Guanche might have believed the midsummer waters had magical healing powers and local goatherds are happy to go along with that, but clearly salt water is a cleanser. El  baño de las cabras might be a tradition and a fascinating spectacle, but it also serves a purpose.

And anyway even if it was a silly and pointless tradition, so chuffing what? I love silly and pointless traditions – Tenerife has loads of them. They add colour and imagination to the world and life in general.

What a terribly dull and dreary existence it would be without them.

Corpus Christi Flower Carpets on Tenerife 2010: The Final Touches

On a blisteringly hot day on the eve of the Corpus Christi celebrations in La Orotava on Tenerife, a handful of alfombristas (master carpet makers) put the finishing touches to this year’s tapestry made from the sands and soil from Teide National Park. Here are a couple of shots to give you a preview of the almost completed work of art.

The theme this year is The Last Supper and the three main designs feature traditional religious imagery with a Dali influence in the centrepiece. As always the detail in the images is breathtaking, with clever little transparent touches – look at the detail even in the bricks behind the figures.

The overall carpet is livened up this year by the presence of butterflies of varying sizes fluttering around the edges of the giant sand picture.

Once again these maestros of sand art have come up with a masterpiece.

Saturday Night’s All Right For Fighting in Puerto de la Cruz

Considering it was World Naked Gardening Day on Saturday, it was probably quite appropriate that Puerto de la Cruz went Brazilian on Saturday night. But in this particular case it was a free DJ festival as part of Tensamba 2010 in Tenerife.

I was looking forward to this as there was also a display of that Brazilian/African form of martial arts ballet called capoeira.

Brilliant for some sexy photos of practitioners swirling and twirling to a samba soundtrack I thought…and it would have been except for one thing.

I could tell you that the sun disappeared behind a cloud dulling out the scene, or that it was a bad time of night for light, but the truth is I set the camera badly and as a result ended up with grainy, slightly blurred photos with a lot of ghosting. Very, very disappointing, but there you go…shit happens as they say.

If you fancy seeing more grainy, blurred photos of the Festival, CLICK HERE

Weather on Tenerife – Another Storm Warning for Tenerife

Just when we thought it was all over, we get another storm warning for high winds. The worst were due to be at high altitudes, but gusts of 80 kph were forecast for the coast.

Whilst we tweeted about gloriously hot weather all week and oodles of sunshine, to scepticism from certain southern quarters who shall remain nameless, we waited for the inclement weather to hit, reading reports of rain in various parts of the island.

Well the inclement weather hit last night in the form of a loud howling wind which made sleep a bit of a fantasy. In truth the gusts were nowhere as strong as February’s, but what they lacked in strength, they made up for in noise aided and abetted by the cat’s accompanying wailing – ‘let me innnnnn, let me innnnnnn…’

Because of the direction the wind was coming from (SW) it was also hot and the sky was crystal clear showing a busy sea of sparkling stars. If I hadn’t been so knackered I might have appreciated their beauty a bit more at 4am.

This morning we woke to sunshine again, the lightest of April showers despite there being hardly any clouds (although to the west we could see some quite angry formations lingering), a rainbow arcing from Los Realejos to the sea and fresh snow on Teide.

And for all those doubters out there, here are the photos to prove that it is still sunny in Puerto de la Cruz.

Now if only I could find that pot of gold...

April and more snow on Teide

Carnaval in Puerto de la Cruz 2010 – ¡Qué Desastre!

Puerto de la Cruz' opening parade!!!

A little boy wearing a clown costume stood on the street corner looking hopefully along an ominously empty street. As the minutes ticked by his excitement drained away to be replaced with heavy-as-lead disappointment…I knew how he felt. We were both waiting for a carnaval parade that never came.

I mentioned in a previous blog about the ‘strange’ pre-carnaval atmosphere this year in Puerto de la Cruz, but as we squeezed through packed streets on the way to Plaza Charco last night it seemed as though the doom and gloom of the run-up had dissolved in the party atmosphere. However, even then there were signs that all was not as it should be. The plaza café was once again shut, just as it was during New Year, the ongoing industrial dispute causing the town to miss out on much needed revenue during the busiest periods of the year.

But as we plonked ourselves down on stools at the best food stall in the world and ordered two Desperate Dan-sized montaditos (catalanas), the sight of the deserted café was soon forgotten. Latino music blasted out across the square and the place buzzed with anticipation and I felt that addictive carnaval drug course through my veins. Then I noticed something odd. There were no rows of people lining the route of the opening parade.

We finished our catalanas and wandered over to a policeman who confirmed that the parade was following its normal route. But as we walked along the street towards Castillo San Felipe there was no-one. Admittedly we were a bit early, but things weren’t normal.

We walked to a little bar underneath El Peñon, hoping for signs of a parade, but there were none. We’d always fancied having a drink at El Bajio beside the car park entrance as it always seems to be buzzing, so we grabbed a table and ordered a couple of beers. It’s a great little bar; full of character. Next to us a Canarian family tucked into a plate with a whole fish and a couple of grilled cuttlefish on it; pulling strips from the fish in between watching a TV set up outside the bar and cheering as Christiano Ronaldo scored a hat trick in about as much time as it takes to say the phrase. But still there was no familiar sound of beating drums. Something was definitely wrong. We finished our drinks and headed back. This time as we walked along the road we heard the rhythmic drumbeat that normally accompanies the parade, but oddly there were still no people. We turned a corner and there it was…one group of dancers. They were doing the usual dance moves, but without energy or flair – they were simply going through the motions.

Unwilling to accept that this was it we moved on and that’s when we encountered the little clown boy and his mother. As we approached them, the mother stopped a passing policeman and asked him about the parade. We asked her what he’d said.

“He said it’s only a short parade this year – only a few groups.”
“What about the carnaval queens – aren’t they in it.” I asked her.
“No, only at the big parade next week it seems,” she replied.
“Why?”
“Maybe the crisis,” she shrugged before adding. “Este año carnaval es fatal.” (Basically – carnaval is going to be crap this year).

We knew exactly what she was saying and why. The portuenses (people of Puerto) aren’t happy.

“Do you think he’s punishing the town for not voting for him,” Andy murmured.

It might seem ridiculous, but that’s exactly what it felt like. That Puerto’s mayor had stopped a tradition that was loved by the townspeople and visitors to punish them. But if there’s one big mistake you can make in Tenerife it’s to mess with the people’s fiestas.

I wonder if Mayor Marcos Brito woke today to find that he had developed tinnitus. But instead of ringing in his ears, he might have been hearing a tap, tap, tapping noise – the sound of nails being hammered into his political coffin.

I reckon that los portuenses no van a olvidar este.

An essential stall for accessories during carnaval

Carnaval on Tenerife 2010 – Election of the Santa Cruz Carnaval Queen

It catches your eye doesn’t it? I’m talking about her name. The new carnaval queen for Santa Cruz is called Alicia San Juan Mc-Nulty.

Alicia San Juan McNulty – it’s great, like the statue of the priest in Santa Cruz called Father José Murphy.

Alicia hails from La Laguna, but at least one Spanish paper commented that she had a foreign appearance – no surprise as she has Irish blood in her veins, like  quite a few Canarios. A lot of Irish settled around the north of Tenerife from the mid 16th century onwards and every so often you hear a name that is half Spanish and half Irish.

One Victorian explorer attributed the exceptional good looks of the Canario people around La Orotava to the mix of Spanish, Irish and even Guanche blood.

Carnaval on Tenerife 2010 – I Just Don’t Have that Carnaval Feeling

The California Carnaval Food Stall - YUM YUM or What?

I don’t know why, but this year I just haven’t been infected by the ‘carnaval’ spirit. We’re on the eve of it actually starting big time and I feel as happy about it as a down-in-the-dumps Victor Meldrew.

It could be me, but I don’t feel that ‘buzz’ coming from Puerto de la Cruz that I usually feel in the week before carnaval hits its stride.

I haven’t heard any batucada drumbeats filling the night air announcing ‘carnaval is coming, carnaval is coming…’ Even last night there were no fireworks to accompany the election of Puerto’s carnival queen. Press releases from the town council have been more about finger pointing and back-biting than shouting out about what should be the town’s most fun-filled period and that hasn’t helped with a mood that feels as though Franco’s spirit has returned.

I was in town today, walking around the rows of beer kiosks and food stalls as the final preparations were being made for the first of Puerto’s big parties tomorrow night, but even there, I didn’t feel the usual buzz of anticipation and my favourite food stall in the whole wide universe, California, had it’s tarpaulin shutters closed – sort of symbolic really.

However, I’ve a suspicion that this is only the calm before the storm, only the storm this time is going to be of the hedonistic party till you die variety.

When the masks go on and the music starts I expect Puerto will let loose as always at this time of year and about 8pm tomorrow night someone is going to take a hypo full of carnaval spirit and shove it deep into my veins…

There was one thing that made me smile today. Taped to a wall was a council notice about official regulations during carnaval, part of which stated when the music could go on until in the streets.

On 13th, 19th and 20th February the bands and DJs at the street parties can blast out their rhythms until 6am. But on 14th – 18th they can only do it until 5am.

Only 5am – don’t you just love carnaval?